Paul Hoffman, The Left Hand of God (Dutton, 2010)
In my opinion, The Left Hand of God isn't a novel, it's anti-Roman Catholic church propaganda disguised as a novel. So, of course, are anything by Dan Brown and "The Water Babies." Anti-RC propaganda has a long history in English. Some of it is even written well. This stuff isn't.
I've slogged through four chapters and haven't found any characters or situations that are even vaguely interesting. I'm a little concerned about the damsel being vivisected, but that's about it.
Heck, the publicists almost explicitly admit what the book's about. I quote from their cover letter:
Later, Hoffman was enrolled at a severe Catholic boarding school. What he learned could barely be considered an education, but it would later provide him with the foundation for the theology of The Sanctuary and the ruthlessness of The Redeemers.
In other words, he's getting back at Brother So-and-so, who may or may not really have been a sadistic cretin (goodness knows there are plenty of them around, both in religion and out of it). Not to belittle the horrendous crimes perpetrated against generations of children in boarding schools, but the Church didn't have a monopoly on that. Hasn't he ever read Tom Brown's School Days, or The Belles of St. Trinian's, or even Harry Potter? Not a Roman Catholic in the lot.
Briefly, "The Redeemers" are a very militant religious order. They are training thousands of boys in their school, "The Sanctuary," to go off and fight the Protestants. Their training regimen makes the Spartans look like wusses. Of course, the Battle of Waterloo was won "on the playing fields of Eton," so this perspective on education isn't exactly a novelty either.
The hero, Thomas Cale, is being groomed to be the most brilliant strategist ever produced by The Redeemers. He was the youngest boy to ever enter The Sanctuary, and he has survived to his mid-teens. Apart from that, he's a cipher.
About the only thing The Left Hand of God doesn't seem to have so far is sex. This rather surprises me, as indulging in unspeakable perversions is the most usual accusation against any religious group. There is the abovementioned damsel being vivisected, but the scene isn't played with any sexuality. How odd.
Now, I am sure that there are thousands of people out there who will love this book and think that I'm insane. They're welcome to it. Me, I don't have the stomach for any more of this garbage.
Paul Hoffman doesn't have a Web presence, but The Left Hand of God has its own site here. It's apparently destined to be a trilogy. What a pity.
Note: I am not, and never have been, a Roman Catholic
