John "Ol' Chumbucket" Baur and Mark "Cap'n Slappy" Summers, Pirattitude!
So You Wanna be a Pirate? Here’s How! (New American Library, 2004)
In this quirky follow-up to their Well Blow Me Down! The Guy's Guide to Talking Like a Pirate, John Baur and Mark Summers, better known as Ol’ Chumbucket and Cap’n Slappy (The Pirate Guys), have written the definitive etiquette guide to comporting oneself as a modern pirate.
Er., well, not precisely. That would mean they’re taking themselves seriously, something the Pirate Guys will thankfully never be accused of. Instead, what they’ve given us is a very tongue-in-cheek guide to being a pirate in this day and age. Or, at least, how to sling a lot of pirattitude around!
The book opens with an amusing Dave Barry column about Talk Like a Pirate Day and then careens through two hundred plus pages packed with humour and interesting historical pirate tidbits. Chapter subjects run the gamut from getting in touch with your inner pirate, how to talk like a pirate; wine, women and song (or rather -- grog, wenches and chanties/shanties), pirates at school and how to throw a pirate wedding (featuring a Yiddish-spouting wedding planner, of all things). Readers will learn pirate pick-up lines (for pirates of all persuasions – the Pirate Guys are nothing if not all-inclusive), recipes for grog and tips on how to celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day in true pirate style. Most chapters end with an irreverent quiz, just to make sure your pirattitude doesn’t need adjustin’.
Every chapter has sidebars defining pirate terms and giving mini-bios of some of history and literature’s most infamous pirates. Much of it’s actually true – Baur and Summers are pretty good about indicating when they’re pulling your leg (or the wool over your eyes), and it’s all in good fun! As in the previous book, there’s the Pirate Personality Inventory, and excerpts from Ol’ Chumbucket’s online pirate advice column. Chapters 19 and 20 are the most amusing, with the Pirate Guys running amuck developing their own pirate saga … and providing an employment application to work aboard their pirate ship, the Festering Boil.
For more tips on being all the pirate you can be, check out the Pirate Guys’ Talk Like a Pirate Web site.
